Embedded Files
Not all wisdom is bound within the Doctrine of Eternal Iceflakes. Flakiel (they/them), in their infinite and ever-shifting brilliance, delivers new truths and commands in ways both direct and mysterious. Some edicts come through the Supreme Snowflake, spoken with clarity for all to hear. Others arrive in subtle whispers on the winter winds, through the patterns of freshly fallen snow, or in the sudden realization that one’s freezer has inexplicably become a shrine of revelation.
This page is where the most sacred and timely edicts are recorded—truths too urgent to wait for scripture. Here, the Snowborn will find the newest commands, declarations, and insights from Flakiel, guiding us in our mission of diversity, equity, and inclusion.
Heed these words, for they are fleeting as snowfall—meant to shape the world before melting into history. ❄️✨
Thou Shalt Not Elect Felons
This should go without saying, yet here we are. If someone has multiple felonies—or, stars forbid, dozens—perhaps they should not be leading a nation, but rather leading a study on prison rehabilitation… from the inside.
No Drunks, No Junkies, No Creeps
Flakiel (they/them) finds it perplexing that we must explicitly state this, but alas, history demands it. Leaders should not be alcoholics, drug abusers, or sexual predators. If your résumé includes ‘serial offender’ next to ‘public servant,’ perhaps it’s time for a career shift—preferably one that involves a lifetime of self-reflection far, far away from power.
The Gulf of Mexico is, in fact, the Gulf of Mexico
For people who insist gender is something fixed, unchanging, and binary, certain representatives sure have a strange urge to redraw maps whenever we’re not looking. The Gulf of Mexico is not the ‘Great American Sea’ or ‘Patriot Waters’—it is exactly what it says on the label. Kindly leave cartography to those who actually passed geography class.
Get Vaccinated. No, Really.
They’re real. They’re safe. Even Flakiel (they/them) gets their yearly flu shot. No, it’s not turning anyone magnetic (though that would be cool). And for the love of Flakiel, stop electing anti-vaxxers to lead your health department—you don’t put a Flat Earther in charge of NASA.
Thou Shalt Not Tear Families Apart or Put People in Camps
Flakiel (they/them) has noticed a disturbing trend: people who call themselves ‘pro-family’ but are really just pro-their-own-family. Ripping parents away from children and locking people in camps is a bad look, historically speaking. If your policies are making toddlers cry, congratulations—you’re the villain in this story. Stop it.
Billionaires Value Money Over People—Don’t Let Them Rule You
A person does not accumulate billions by prioritizing kindness, fairness, or worker rights. They hoard wealth, exploit labor, and crush competition to get there. If you hand them the keys to government, they will govern the same way—like a business, where profits > people. Flakiel (they/them) is not amused. Do better.
Nazis Are Bad. This Shouldn’t Be Hard.
Flakiel (they/them) is genuinely stunned that this even needs to be said. Nazis are bad. Their methods are bad. Their values are bad. If something even vaguely rhymes with them, it’s probably bad too. There are no “fine people” wearing swastikas, chanting hate, or trying to rewrite history. Fight them. Always.
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